Thursday, October 15, 2009

Footballs all! Jai Hind Sir!


Footballs allby Rajbir Deswal
Look, I am a senior cop and you need to salute me,” “said Football One. “What an introduction buddy! You were a nice, round-faced, round bodied, roly-poly, rotund football. When did you become a cop, of all the silly things in the world?” asked Football Two.
“Didn’t you hear PC telling the country’s very senior cops in no uncertain terms and with unambiguous intent that they were all like footballs? Kicked from here to there!”
“PC? you mean Police Commissioner?” asked Football Two.
“Yes, he is the seniormost of them all and a well-meaning HM too,” said Football One. “You mean His Majesty?” asked Football Two. “Yes, after all cops of the feudal vintage like to address him and his ilk like that only,” replied Football One. “But how come PC said we were footballs? And if he had to refer to all that is round around us, and within, then he could have said, ‘marbles’ instead,” quipped Football Two.
“Big people have big brains buddy! Great ideas take birth in them naturally. PC might have thought that footballs give a well-fed look. That is why perhaps he wanted to pamper the cops, likening them to something the calling of which is all too welcome!” said Football One.
Football Two still wanted to make a point, “No, but he didn’t want to pamper them, rather give them a piece of his mind! But as I said, marbles would have best described the cops’ calling. Don’t the marbles hit, hammer and shoot at each other, and all those who are in their line of fire with a perfect aim in sight like the bull’s eye (be they public, or rival politicians in the “Marble Cops” scheme of things)?
“But buddy, they always want to bend them like Beckhem.” Football One tried to make another point, “And if it is not a football then what else will take the punch in. A cricket or a hockey ball or even a marble, may hit hard on ricocheting. It’s only a football that is flexible and resilient, as if beseeching the kicker into “one more time, come on Sir, kick me one more time hard, and I may ‘net’ you a ‘goal!” Football One tried to convince her friend elaborating on the various “Politico-friendly” traits of them all.
Football Two seemed to be convinced by now and quibbled with an eye to eye grin, “Look what happened when even the non-political, world famous French footballer, Zinedine Zidane headbutted Marco Materazzi during the 2006 World Cup final! No political player ever would like to repeat Zidane’s feat? And invite unnecessary trouble when the likes of us are there to oblige.”
And to conclude and clinch the issue in favour of PC’s calling the cops footballs, Football One quoted Shakespeare, “Hey Buddy know what? Even the most popular Roman king Caesar had wanted to ‘have men about me that are fat, sleek-headed men and such as sleep a-nights.’
“So as to let the thieves do their work. Footballs all! Jai Hind Sir!” greeted Football Two bending over backwards a little more than desired.
Also at http://rajbirdeswal.instablogs.com/entry/footballs-all-jai-hind-sir/

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