Footballs all! Jai Hind Sir!

Footballs allby Rajbir Deswal
Look, I am a senior cop and you need to salute me,” “said Football One. “What an introduction buddy! You were a nice, round-faced, round bodied, roly-poly, rotund football. When did you become a cop, of all the silly things in the world?” asked Football Two.
“Didn’t you hear PC telling the country’s very senior cops in no uncertain terms and with unambiguous intent that they were all like footballs? Kicked from here to there!”
“PC? you mean Police Commissioner?” asked Football Two.
“Yes, he is the seniormost of them all and a well-meaning HM too,” said Football One. “You mean His Majesty?” asked Football Two. “Yes, after all cops of the feudal vintage like to address him and his ilk like that only,” replied Football One. “But how come PC said we were footballs? And if he had to refer to all that is round around us, and within, then he could have said, ‘marbles’ instead,” quipped Football Two.
“Big people have big brains buddy! Great ideas take birth in them naturally. PC might have thought that footballs give a well-fed look. That is why perhaps he wanted to pamper the cops, likening them to something the calling of which is all too welcome!” said Football One.
Football Two still wanted to make a point, “No, but he didn’t want to pamper them, rather give them a piece of his mind! But as I said, marbles would have best described the cops’ calling. Don’t the marbles hit, hammer and shoot at each other, and all those who are in their line of fire with a perfect aim in sight like the bull’s eye (be they public, or rival politicians in the “Marble Cops” scheme of things)?
“But buddy, they always want to bend them like Beckhem.” Football One tried to make another point, “And if it is not a football then what else will take the punch in. A cricket or a hockey ball or even a marble, may hit hard on ricocheting. It’s only a football that is flexible and resilient, as if beseeching the kicker into “one more time, come on Sir, kick me one more time hard, and I may ‘net’ you a ‘goal!” Football One tried to convince her friend elaborating on the various “Politico-friendly” traits of them all.
Football Two seemed to be convinced by now and quibbled with an eye to eye grin, “Look what happened when even the non-political, world famous French footballer, Zinedine Zidane headbutted Marco Materazzi during the 2006 World Cup final! No political player ever would like to repeat Zidane’s feat? And invite unnecessary trouble when the likes of us are there to oblige.”
And to conclude and clinch the issue in favour of PC’s calling the cops footballs, Football One quoted Shakespeare, “Hey Buddy know what? Even the most popular Roman king Caesar had wanted to ‘have men about me that are fat, sleek-headed men and such as sleep a-nights.’
“So as to let the thieves do their work. Footballs all! Jai Hind Sir!” greeted Football Two bending over backwards a little more than desired.
Also at http://rajbirdeswal.instablogs.com/entry/footballs-all-jai-hind-sir/

For whom the bell tolls:Non state actor's deed! किसकी घंटी बजी !

For whom the bell tolls
By: Rajbir Deswal
Press the doorbell if you hear sounds suggesting domestic violence. This message is being conveyed through an advertisement on TV these days. It may appear to be intrusive, yet it checks the moment of extreme execution of anger. Wise people say if you push the ungainly moment into eternity just one time, it may not come back to you with the same tight-fisted intensity.
I am reminded of an interesting incident, relating to doorbells ringing, when fresh in service we played pranks as young officers, realising little, it would cost us dearly, if the things had gone a little too far, than intended.
It so happened that in the Officers’ Colony, we had someone ring the doorbells at odd hours. None was found around on enquiry. The mysterious act continued for days altogether, creating a kind of fear amongst the families, during those grim days of terrorism. Across the fences, in the driveways and over the boundary walls, we discussed as to who, and to what end, would dare to torment the officers’ and their families, for nothing.
One summer evening, I and my wife were sipping coffee after dinner, in the dimly lit lawn with Chander Prakash and his wife. We saw our neighbour A.K.Garg’s house carefully bolted on all sides, including the main gate, besides the entry to the flat. The Gargs seemed to have entrenched themselves in a kind of fortification. We could see their pet sitting on his haunches in the balcony. We collectively decided to play a prank to have fun.
Executing the conspiracy, I told my orderly to go home, after ringing Mr. Garg’s bell, and that of M.K.Mahajan, and two other officers’ in tow. He grinned demurely knowing pretty well the consequences. He also knew we would backtrack on his abetting by us. But as the cops would always go for the kill, if it amounted to some adventurism, he agreed.
Almost as a ‘non-state-actor’ we saw him vanishing in the dark after pressing the Gargs’ doorbell, to further carry out his assigned task. With controlled whispers and gagged giggles, we began to watch the goings on in Gargs’ compound,.
The windows started to light up one by one. The pet rose to the call of duty perhaps to cover up his not raising hell when a familiar ‘stranger’ had sought a sneak. The door opening into the balcony made a creaking sound while Mr. Garg appeared there with genuine apprehension but bold disposition, saying it loudly and forcefully—“Kaun Hai! Arre Bhai Kaun Hai?” Like an apparition and in tow, appeared a visibly scared Mrs. Garg.
Mr. Garg saw us from the balcony and yelled, “Deswal Sahib,aaj hamri ghanti baj gayee!” All the four of us feigned ignorance and assured the couple that we had been sitting right there, and did not notice anyone coming near the house. “Moreover Brownie too was fairly alert” we tried to be clever by half.
A hypertensive Mrs. Garg almost began to faint. My wife realised the gravity of the situation and promptly whispered the conspiracy plan into Mrs. Garg’s ears. Thankfully she instantly smiled, holding her head in both her hands, more to relax herself, than to be amused.
While we were there enjoying the aftermath of a successful stunt, we saw M.K.Mahajan arriving on the scene with his wife and three years old daughter. His carrying a steel curtain rod, twice his size, though threatened us initially, but all was well soon.
Next day it was our turn to turn down our orderly’s ‘dossiers’ sent to us by the neighbours. Surprisingly, the doorbells stopped ringing in our colony thereafter.