CREATIVE LIBERTY--Nah,aise na karo,Shah Rukh

CREATIVE LIBERTY SANS SMOKING
BY: K.RAJBIR DESWAL
Tucked on to his lips, the cigarette refuses to quit Shah Rukh Khan. It has the pride of place on King Khan’s otherwise common place countenance. More than his love for Lady Nicotine, his “creative liberty” needs the versatile actor.
Most advanced argument in not being able to turn away the stub, as quoted by the smokers, is their difficulty in concentrating on things they are required to. But with SRK, to whom acting comes ‘naturally’, it sounds nothing short of a subterfuge.
Is SRK afraid of role reversal? Would he lose his popularity if he’s seen without that dangle on his lips? Raj Kapoor cast the ‘dreaded’ mother-in-law Lalita Pawar, in a caring mother-figure in Jis Desh Main Ganga Behti Hai. Manoj Kumar’s ‘Malang Baba’ in Upkar was an exact antithesis of the mould, Pran had been portraying in the movies till then. These directors took the creative liberty by a role reversal. Why can’t SRK do the same in appearing more sober, is surely intriguing.
Also, if ‘creative liberty’ be not just a ploy, then I can understand Sohrab Modi’s inability to contract his vocal chords, to lower down his high decibel pitch, while delivering dialogues. Perhaps he couldn’t possibly do that. But why our SRK, exhorting us all with his war cry—Chak de, is unwilling to oblige a well meaning Mr. Anbumani Ramadoss, is baffling.
I remember Dilip Kumar, with a soft reed tucked in his lips and cajoling his onscreen flame, seeking a kind of confirmation of her love for him. Kabir Bedi in Kache Dhage is also seen with a similar reed, rolled with his tongue from one end of the lips to the other, to have the desired effect. Ashok Kumar often removed his spectacles, of which one arm reached unconsciously his lips, while either in deep thought, or if he was to act out disgust.
Jaani Raj Kumar always gently stroked the right side of his nape with his right hand to say a hundred-thousand emotions to bully his detractor, and so gently at that. When Manoj Kumar needed to come to brass stacks, he invariable covered half his face, with his gaze fixed deep down below. This style of the thespian though was ‘allegedly’ lampooned in his Om Shanti Om by SRK himself. Is it this type of a world of creative liberty Shah Rukh is trying to ‘make believe’ for us?
All this adds up to say that there are a plethora of substitutes when it comes to creativity. Dilip Kumar used to enact a scene all differently each time, and the best suited would be picked up by the director, as goes the impression. Why can’t King Khan shun the stub(bornness) and try and put up a façade sans cigarette? Or having been bestowed upon the French title “Officer of the Order of Arts et Lettres” does he think that with Liberty, he can take along the Fraternity of smokers, to the realm of Equality with those who have said quits to smoking. Nah, asie na karo. New title for a SRK movie?

"Gandhi consulted my hundred years old teenage son...!"

BELIEVE IT FOR IT IS HEARTENING!
BY:K.RAJBIR DESWAL
Mahatma Gandhi shared his decision, to call off the Non-Cooperation Movement, with my hundred years old teenage son, after the Chaura Chauri incident in 1922. King John of England had consulted me before sealing the Magna Carta, about eight hundred years back. My father was witness to the rise and fall of the Mauryan Empire, around 4th century A.D. And my grandfather was witness to King Porus’s telling Alexander the Great, “Treat me as a vanquished king is treated!”
Confused? Then believe in what researcher Valter Longo has to say. Future humans could expect to live for, hold your breath, eight-hundred years! News has reached us confirming that, “Scientists have now created a genetically engineered organism that lives 10 times longer than normal. It is the greatest extension of longevity yet achieved by researchers investigating the scientific nature of ageing and is directly relevant to human ageing and longevity.”
If Valter Longo were born five-thousand years ago then the claims in History, made in respect of my son, me, my father and my grandfather would not have been sneered at. But then the news item itself suggests against ‘shrugging it off as an unrealistic possibility.” So put on your thinking caps and come with me on a flight of imagination.
With life expectancy of eight-hundred years, you would never afford to wish anybody to live, for ‘only a hundred odd’ years. You would have lived through the modern, medieval and ancient times. Renaissance and Reformation would be quite in your reach. You wouldn’t be dogged by what could be Elizabethan and what Victorian. More over a living member of Lord Rama’s family could have confirmed his place of birth.
All your court cases should have been (hopefully) decided in your life span only. Any General in Pakistan could have dreamed to launch ‘a hundred years war’ against us. Married couples would atleast celebrate four centuries of staying in matrimony (ooofff)! Your fifty-year old toddler (I don’t know if the sizes will also grow proportionately with the age) will sit in your lap licking at the lollipop.
You will never be intimidated by your physician since you would ‘live’ with your diseases, with time and age being on your side. Also, any small fry would be able to jeer at Baba Ram Dev’s prescriptions and advise him to retire to Himalayas for improving his Yoga skills. Economists would have non-plan expenditure schedules covering millennia. Ekta Kapoor would weave plots for serials running for centuries.
In their condolence to those whose life would be cut short, people will exclaim, “He died young at the unripe age of 447 years.” The dead letter office in Amritsar would deliver letters to the addressees written to them centuries back. Government officials will retire at the age of 620 years.
I am not sure, what Valter Longo and his research associates, are doing for ensuring the longevity of the life of other creatures around, although he has announced, that longevity mechanism could be applied, to ‘every living organism. With a lust to live, I don’t think the humans will allow research to be made applicable to anything else. So, your pets will live with you for a very ‘short’ period. It is high time Madam Maneka Gandhi had put her foot down to have a similar package for the sub-humans as well.
All I can wish for the time being is ‘long live Longo!’ And I beseech you, all Ladies and Gentlehumans, to believe him since his intent is heartening. See you soon at the turn of the century!

Haryana Humour appropriates on the sly and is sneaky in character. Syed Ali Ahmed interviews Rajbir Deswal

FACE TO FACE
Humorist in uniform
By: Syed Ali Ahmed
Mr Rajbir Deswal, an IPS officer of the Haryana cadre, is better known among his colleagues as the man who writes middles. For this humour-writer IPS officer, it was a few Urdu couplets recited by his father while he was still in school, which inspired him to continue with writing. Apart from authoring three books, he has contributed middles and articles on tourism and travel in almost all the leading newspapers and magazines. His books have also been translated by the well-known Khushwant Singh. He, who has a passion for reading and writing, was born in a village, Anta in Jind, located in Haryana. He completing his schooling from Jind, higher education from Panjab University, Chandigarh, and M.D. University, Rohtak from where he attained his masters in English.
He is currently pursuing law from the Delhi University.
He topped the Haryana Police Services in 1983, was elevated to IPS cadre a few years back and is currently an Assistant Director in the Bureau of Police Research and Development (BPRD). However, it’s been his passion for writing due to which he has been contributing to various newspapers. Apart from being invited to various literary functions, he has also visited various countries including USA, England, France and Italy. And not just writing, he has been tremendously successful in his mainstream career as well.
Several projects, based on the idea of social policing, initiated by him in various areas, turned out to be exceptionally successful.
Excerpts:
What inspired you to write?
My father was very fond of Urdu poetry and novels. At times, he used to recite beautiful couplets of Urdu poets which inspired me to write, particularly with a tinge of humour. Besides, being a student of literature, it was easy for me to pick up the subject and translate it.
I also worked as a journalist in a newspaper in Delhi before joining the police services, which gave me additional impetus for writing. Frankly speaking, when I was studying in college in Chandigarh, I used to recite poetry and jokes for my friends.
After completing my postgraduation from Maharshi Dayanand University, I joined a newspaper in Delhi and worked under a known journalist. But I left the pen-pushing job and joined the Haryana Police Services. Later, I also started contributing to newspapers – regional as well as national. At the same time I concentrate on my official duty – policing.
What kind of writing do you enjoy the most?
I contribute to various newspapers and mostly write light-hearted pieces. I have authored three books, one in English and two in Hindi.
My books have been translated by an eminent journalist, Khushwant Singh. These subject of my books moves around Haryanavi humour, culture and history. My jokes and other writings are those which find roots in the soil of the state. These are thoroughly village-oriented and it looks good when one speaks in the local language.
How do you spare time for writing while pursuing your official duties?
Writing jokes and other funny articles comes to me naturally. For these, I do not require extra time. While working in the field, I get ideas for my write ups.
A few years back, for instance, some incident took place in the Gharaunda police station. I was an SSP there. I went to the police station to see the nature of the incident, as generally officers do.
The SHO gave me the minutest details. While narrating the scene of the incident, the SHO told me about an old haveli where, kids played, but got injured when they jumped from there.
When I visited the haveli, I found that it was a historical building. It thus, became a subject of writing for me. So if one is interested, one can explore subjects of writing anywhere.
What is the character and form of Haryanavi humour?
Haryanavi humour is robust and not at all pretentious. It does not espouse in making up or repentance. Rather, in doing so, the intention and endeavour go beyond. The best humour is said to be the “laugh at oneself” variety but the Haryana brand, is, by nature, of the type that makes fun of anybody, anywhere and in whatever manner in such unsparing terms which do not differentiate between the subject and the object.
How does Haryanavi wit and humour reconcile in your estimation?
Haryanavi fun is more humorous and less witty. Wit emanates out of intelligence and humour, out of incongruities of human life, and interactive situations. Haryanavi humour is largely situational in its genesis. Its bite is fatally incurable. Once the salvo has been fired there is no salvaging effort. And this aspect makes the Haryanavi humour a distinctly tribal genre. Perhaps the hard life the Haryanavi leads manifests in his rural cultural milieu and leaves ample scope for desirable catharsis which is always purgative in nature. Thus a harsher hit balances more conveniently and suits the Haryanavi temperament more than a controlled and sophisticated approach even in matters not so serious.
Why is Haryanavi humour unpredictable?
As I said Haryanavi humour mostly emanates out of situations and since the situations cannot be predicted. So is its reaction, which is so spontaneous and innocent that you cannot read in between the unintended craft.
For instance, if you ask a Haryanavi the time, he might quip with no intention to harm you, “why, are you planning to down yourself in a well?” Or “ Do you have intentions to lie under a running train?”
And people also say that the Haryanavi humour is robust and unsparing…
Noted writer Khushwant Singh believes that high and might evoke laughter amongst the hoi polloi. The treatment meted out to the subjects is harsh and the latter are bound to make fun of their rulers in an unsparing manner.
This is true of the Haryanavi historically, since they have lived in the shadow of Delhi, a seat of power, since ages.
The belligerence in their disposition provided an in-built system of balancing, when it came to taking on the powers that be or any kinds of persecution of the people around Delhi.
That is how the Haryanavi humour got more teeth to bite than soft palate to soft-pedal when it came to situations allowing an interpersonal dialogue.
What do you say about your latest book on Haryanavi humour “Latke-jhatke”?
It is collection of jokes in case it gives you titillation what earthy humour is expected to give. The locale of all the anecdotes is typically rural and the dialect is Haryanavi, written in Devnagri.
But it is only the punch line that is in Haryanavi that too is translated for better understanding of those who may find it difficult to understand the dialect. It was almost a challenge for me to retain the punch while translating the dialectical idiom into a recognised and comprehensible scheme of Devnagri.
Infact, in all the anecdotes reflect some aspects of Haryana’s culture, be it the dialect, dressing, agriculture, lifestyle, dwelling, marriages, interpersonal relationships, the anecdotes do invoke laughter. But in a lighter vein, the desired effect of informing the readers about the culture of the land of Haryana is sought to be achieved.
With this kind of disposition, how have you involved the community in your police work?
Wherever I have remained posted in the field of active policing, I have given preference to the concept of social policing. At Karnal in Haryana, I started a police-Bhaiya project, which catered the tiny tots in primary schools.
The idea was to make the children not fear the police in their formative years so that they don’t carry a negative image of the police in the years to come. Then our ‘police – students anti copying programme’ too was a big success.
At Fatehabad, I was instrumental in floating a non governmental organisation with the help of about 100 socially conscious citizens who took up causes in public interest. At Sonepat in Haryana, I worked hard to have an all women police station, the first one of its kind in the state, which is working very well till date.
The latest in policing trends is to involve the public in way that they participate in poling the community a large.

R U Game !

A wishlist- Hindustan Times
A wishlist for all be it cops, journos, politicians, Blueline drivers, Gen-X brats or lawyers, writes Rajbir Deswal.

Loosely flipping through half a dozen newspapers, my friend said to me, yawning a bit too wide, “Nothing really exciting!” “What happened? There is enough these days to mull over. And be happy about it!” I contorted mischievously when he said, “Complacence. Isn’t. Can’t we send them all to Coventry?” “Whom?” I asked. “To begin with the likes of you—Cops!” he concluded with all the contempt hurled at me and my tribe.
And he unfolded his intent to banish all the policemen of the country to the “Island of the naked” to learn a passive resistance, a la Gandhi, having no temptation and situation, when they should be able to rob anybody of their belongings. “Leeches all!” he said.
“And what about you, journalists? Should they all be not packed off to jungles—even Abdul Kalaam, kind of, suggested that—where being unable to sneak in private lives of people, they can experience not stinging themselves, but being stung by wild scorpions, snakes and black widows. Only then they would be able to concentrate on issues related to environment and nature and spare Uma Khuranas.” I said and quizzed my friend, winking, if he had any solution for the politicians.
Presto, he propounded a wonderful idea. “These moral lepers be made to spend a year or two in Universities and Centres of Excellence. “ To improve their qualifications?” I quipped poking fun at my friend’s proposition but he said matter of factly, “No! For the simple reason that they should learn how our academicians fight—and on issues that are so trivial that put to shame even the infants in their pans. The politicians may thus, learn to take up issues in larger public and national interests. You know how party politics is, where action begins exclaiming, “1,2,3…!” and finishes claiming, “ Lo! We’ve done that”.
“Look buddy, this gives me enough food for thought and I suggest that all our Blue line drivers should spend atleast a fortnight sleeping in a mortuary; the Gen-X brats be bundled off to old age homes to hammer a point in their psyche that they themselves would grow that old and infirm; the Bollywood brokers be sent to factories making furniture lest they learn that the ‘couches’ are for comfort and not ‘kaam front,” I philosophised.
“Makes lot of sense!” my friend exclaimed and with his tongue firmly in his cheek said, “Let all the lawyers go to Pakistan, where they can atleast learn to ‘really’ fight. “What about the religious bigots?” I asked and my friend had a ready answer, “To the abattoirs and butcheries where they may have a change of heart and develop aversion to spilling blood.”
When this tete-e-tete between me and my journalist friend was going on, I flashed back to the time when I myself was once sent to Coventry. From the nearby Rugby Police Training Centre, we were taken to downtown Coventry from where we strayed into some sidelanes. Here we encountered some junkies and one of them tired to snatch my camera. We looked for the cops around but were later told that even for the police that was a ‘no visit area’. Was it really a part of our training to feel the helplessness of a victim? Or, were we to know the real meaning of being “sent to Coventry” I still wonder.
Dashing down to earth form my fanciful flight of thoughts, I urged myself to make a point, “And …!” But I was checked by my friend, “Hold on dude, for everything else Judiciary hai naa!” I laughed and quibbled “but atleast the middle writers need not be sent anywhere for they are already there, where they should be.”

(What you just saw is the detailed version. HT used the smaller version)

Fortune favours while success succeeds...

This photo was taken by me at the Pikes Peak(US)Colorado .The elevation is 14000feet

RICH & FAMOUS--CHOSEN ONES
WHO doesn’t want to be rich and famous? And who won’t like to pool all the resources at one’s command to be in the hall of fame? Since all of us cannot make it to that status, do we not seek identification to impress the world about our acquired level of superiority? But destiny is somewhere there, playing its quiet role.
Lady Luck doesn’t smile on everyone. You have to be a “chosen one” to have that divine favour; boon or benediction. Hitting a jackpot, winning a lottery, being the millionth buyer of a car and getting it free, or stumbling on a hidden treasure, are all in the hands of God. Or providence, if you prefer that word.
There may be other parameters to judge one’s being lucky or unlucky. Being fortunate and being successful are two different things. Fortune favours while success succeeds. One may wait for Lady Luck to smile but one has to really be in a hurry and strive to be successful. Skills, of course, do make a difference in shaping one’s destiny. Also if you are possessed with the ability to bend your bones or pull a truck by your eyelashes, it does make a difference.
Epics, sagas, tales, episodes, incidents, instances are mostly made up of stuff that providence provides and protagonists possess. Yet a fair or unfair distribution of what is perceived as booty makes one lucky or otherwise.
Indian films provide enough material on divine allocation of resources. If a starving hero saves the life of a rich man, or still better, his daughter, then he mostly has the best of both worlds. Remember Ifteqar in “Amar Akbar Anthony”, who places his bet on a shoe-shine boy who grows up to become Big-B, saying, “Ye lambee race ka ghora hai (He will go a long way in life).” While in the first case, it is being lucky, and in the second, successful.
There may be many ways to be rich and famous. Some people do name-dropping and proclaim and clamour about their relationship with the already rich and famous. For example, you can always find characters who brag about, saying, “I have direct access to 10 Janpath!” or “Madam recognises me in a crowd!” Those who are not able to make it to Bollywood in any recognisable way can be seen dropping names like “Ramu is dependable!” or “Vidhu is just like a younger brother!”
By way of a reverse argument, if you at least verbally take on the might of a biggie and pose a challenge to his authority, you become one of the debated ones. Heard of that couplet from Zafar Gorakhpuri, “Kitni aasani se mashhoor kiya hai khud ko; Maine apne se bade shakhs ko galee dee!” (How easily have I made myself popular by simply abusing someone really great.)
You can think of various ways to be in the news at least, if not rich enough. Come in the way of a wealthy man’s car but do please avoid Salman Khans. Also if you are able to survive an air-crash, train accident or a boat capsizing, when all about you are gone, you definitely make the stuff when curious journalists could be seen interviewing you, almost gagging your mouth with that instrument which they call an ID, “How are you feeling now?” or “How really do you feel now, when the entire world knows you?” True, some are born great while others strive and gyrate. Sorry, Mr Shakespeare!

This article was published in The Tribune dated Sept 28,07

My freind Dr. GS Bajpai wrote back saying it was in Diwar and not Amar Akbar Anthony that the referred dialogue figured. I stand corrected.