Promised Bridge to Girls Hostel:Could it be an election issue?

Promised Bridge to the Girls Hostel! And many more things!
By: Rajbir Deswal
We then lived and studied in a mufassil town boasting of a university with a department of English. The town had been famous for harbouring rain and flood waters to the effect that almost every house, shop, office, school, college etc had to be reached from over a ‘Ram Setu’ sort of arrangement of mud bags lined up in shallow waters.
People had to a little lift their lower extremities covers to keep step-walking on the mud bags to reach their destination. It was then natural for the girls in our university hostel to look for a redeemer in someone who could promise to have a ‘bridge’ built connecting with the Departement, or atleast promise one.
I was then contesting for the President of the Students Union. And addressing a bevy of girls in their hostel, I declared that I would have a bridge built up to the girls hostel among giggles and asides. I then went on to seek form the ones who intimidated me as to what else they expected of me if I were to have their votes!
Well the list was tall but I remember certain items on their agenda which amused me then. That the tax exemption to cinema halls be completely enforced. That student concession in travel be doubled. That lecture shortage should not be an issue at all. That there should be a free period every week when boys and girls could sing and chat. That warden system should be done away with. And so on.
The most fascinating demand related to the size of a samosa being increased by sternly telling the contractor Satnam. Well those were the days when one could make promises without inviting the Election Commission’s intrusive instrumentalities and restrictive reprimands.
If I were to be instrumental in having such a bridge in place it would have been nothing less than a Bridge of Sighs–as in Oxford!

No lessons learnt to prevent stampedes!

It seems we haven’t learnt any lessons from the incidents of stampedes and large scale killing of men and women. There were reports in the recent past about so many lives having been lost due to stampedes at religious places.
We were there in Himachal Pradesh to pay obeisance to Devis there. The day was Baisakhi and there were a large number of devotees lined up. As is the practice and ritual amongst the Hindus to feed and offer gifts to ‘Kanjaks’ — girls who are not married — some of the poor ones were present at every place. But to our utter shock these girls were chased and hounded by those who controlled the flow of the pilgrims.
Seeing the ‘kanjkas’ thus chased and charged with baton, there was a flutter and pandemonium every time these girls were seen around. They are there for some purpose. The devotees find them there and make ritualistic gifts of food and cash etc.
The security men creating a scene in running after them with lathes and dandas was a sight really disgusting. It can also cause panic and make a stampede like situation. And above all what kind of Hindus are we who witness such a scene right in our front on the one hand and on the other seek to perform ceremonies with the selfsame set of girls—the holy kanjaks. It’s high time some stock taking was done and methods improved.

Untouchable Royals,Obamas & an Indian Saint

I had never known that by standards of protocol, those who have blue blood flowing in their veins — so to say the royals, are “untouchables” too. President Obama’s wife Michelle’s hugging the Queen of England, in London at the G-20 meet, and the latter putting her hand around Michelle’s waist in a reciprocal manner, may be something to rejoice at, for the practitioners of the concept of “Equality for all”, but it reminds me of the healing qualities of a touch, or an embrace.
During a tour of Haryana, the then Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi chose to drive an open Jonga. He stopped to greet the crowds in Rohtak, when an elderly woman finding herself enough close to Mr Clean, beseeched him saying, “Re Raju beta terai haath la kai dekh lyoon(May I feel you by touching you O’ son!)” Rajiv Gandhi is said to have gladly obliged her.. I can imagine the exuberance of the Haryanavi woman on being allowed a “touch and feel” of Rajiv’s cottony, pink cheeks.
The legendary saint Kabir was once accused of spreading hatred against Hindus and Muslims for what he preached was against the hardcore fundamentalist stance in both religions. A complaint was made to the then ruler Sikandar Lodhi.
On inquiry it was found that Kabir claimed to be a disciple of Saint Ramanand. Ramanand refused to own Kabir and informed the king that he didn’t even know as to who Kabir was.
Sikandar Lodhi is said to have summoned both. Since Kabir was a low caste weaver, a curtain was erected between Ramanand and Kabir as per tradition. Ramanand then asked Kabir as to when he received initiation at his hands.
Kabir replied from behind the curtain, “O’ Noble soul, do you remember when on your way to having a bath in the Ganga one day, unmindfully you hurt me on the steps leading on to holy waters, where I lay deliberately to have your blessings. You had then said to me-Ram ka naam le beta (Go son! Have faith in God Almighty!”
Kabir then informed Guru Ramanand that from that day onwards, he had beenpractising his “dhyan” and “bhakti”(meditative concentration and devotion) in the name of his Guru that was Ramanand himself. That was enough for Rama Nand to have himself torn off and pulled down the curtain between him and Kabir. He then rushed to embrace Kabir in the royal court and in the presence of the King to demonstrate his love and blessings for a true disciple.
Embraces are great levelers while bear hugs of course can be dangerous. I am also reminded of Munna Bhai’s “jadoo ki jhappi” and another scene from “Mere Mehboob”—a movie of yesteryear. Rajendra Kumar, feeling the sensation of a touch of Sadhna’s cushiony fingers, sings: Meri rug rug main koi burq si lehar aayee thi Jab tere marmari haathon ko chhua tha maine (I got a pleasant shock and sensation all over my nerves, when I touched your beautiful hands.)
While I hail the ease with which the First Lady of the US could advance to hug the Queen of England, I am also sanguine on the reciprocal gesture shown by the Queen who unlike her predecessors may drop that stiff upper lip to appear more human like.
I am also reminded of Kipling’s “IF”: “If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch”

More than what meets the eye कैनवस के पीछे क्या है ?

More than what meets the eye

by Rajbir Deswal
To be able to read between the lines means the clairvoyance to comprehend what is actually intended to be conveyed. But how about going micromillimetres distance between the canvas and the brush to identify as to how many layers of visuals rest there? And also that, what exactly should one pose in a portrait show-up? Isn't it all really mystifying? It may be true! It may be false!
An Italian scientist-journalist by the name Piero Angela claims to have discovered Leonardo Da Vinci's self-portrait, by going down the surface of a manuscript — Codex on the Flight of Birds, employing a micro-pixel work. A facial reconstruction scientist in Rome has even endorsed Angela's claim. What is interesting is the fact of the "resurrected" Renaissance genius's young looks, appearing twin-like when compared to his portrait showing him up in wrinkles, and with hollow cheeks.
Another world famous portrait of Renaissance, "Mona Lisa", created by Leonardo, has been in the news for various interpretations, inter alia, of the pose of the wealthy merchant's wife. That she wears a thin and gauzy stole around her neck, confirms her being in a family way, going by the mores prevalent then. That she is hiding her pregnancy with one hand above the other also confirms it. Arguments are too many, but takers some.
The latest to hit the market is the news about an Anglo-Irish family, preserving Shakespeare's portrait inherited from the Earl of Southampton, showing him with not only younger looks, but also betraying his humble background and nowhere-near-wealthy status. That having moved to London and having written his famous plays, the Bard of Avon grew popular and wealthy in the Elizabethan times, made him look more "presentable and less solemn" if one has to believe Shakespeare "experts" and "scholars" .
Nearer home, the National Dairy Research Institute at Karnal has come out with five rare photographs showing Mahatma Gandhi with a cow named Jill. Pandit Madan Mohan Malaviya is also seen in one of the pictures. Claims have been made of the photos taken when Gandhi attended a two-week course at the institute to learn the basics of dairying and keeping cows, for his Sabarmati Ashram.
The latest revelation has been made regarding the legendry Bhagat Singh's photo, taken shortly before his hanging, for keeping it in records. A portrait showing Chandra Shekhar Azad, twirling his moustache in front of a mirror, is again disputed if it had been a replica of the original photo taken without the martyr's knowledge.
I cannot help mentioning about a movie, "Lage Raho Munna Bhai", showing the redoubtable and inimitable Boman Irani to be someone obsessively interested in doctoring his life-size images, as if "actually" standing for a pose with celebrities. And for that matter, of all times! Who knows five hundred years from now, someone may come up with a theory that Boman was a President of the United States and Obama played character roles in Bollywood flicks.
However, what Ben Johnson says in commendation of the Martin Droeshout engraving of Shakespeare is worthy of taking note: "This Figure, that thou here seest put/It was for gentle Shakespeare cut... His face; the print would then surpasse/All, that was ever writ in brasse/But, since he cannot, Reader, looke/Not on his Picture, but his booke".

Say Cheese! Click.

Exam blues,clues and flues इम्तिहान उफ़ तौबा !

EXAMS BLUES,CLUES AND FLUES !
BY: RAJBIR DESWAL
April may have been the “cruellest month” for T. S. Eliot, for it prompted “mixing memory and desire”; but March seems to deserve that description in respect of students, who have to write exams missing the colourful fun of Holi. Memorise and revise. Desire, but don’t deserve fun.
Even now when I have successfully written all my educational and professional examinations, I cannot understand why I still occasionally have nightmares of not being able to reach my exam venue in time. I always dream, “Hell barring my way!”
If I make it on time in a certain dream sequence, then invariably I am unable to attempt all the questions. Ink spills on paper or pen goes dry. Things keep going wrong. The reason perhaps lies embedded in my psychological make-up at the subconscious level. So, may be, this is the case with all examinees who stand to various tests in life.
Empathising with the hard-pressed examinees of today, I recall the times when we took tests in a comparatively relaxed manner. My friend Bheema, a wrestler, during my pre-university course studied what we called “26 hours a day”. He believed that desi ghee could make him win a bout, as also “enlighten” his mind to write exams. He, however, failed and attributed his flunking to “impurities” in the desi ghee he consumed.
We had in our hostel boys who spent more time on preparing “chits” for copying. These were “compressed chips” - small in size but enough for storage. The chits being deposited at the appropriate places on their person used to be the copycats’ delight. And being caught with this “explosive material” - as the invigilators called them, would invite devising newer ways of concealing.
Then we had groups of “crazy” guys who would be united in purpose of not appearing in the exams for all the silly reasons. Their aim was “not to pass out of the hostel”; classes they seldom attended. They would have their heads shaven to demonstrate their solidarity. Admitting honestly, they were there to redeem us of our scoring less, thus saving face.
The stereotyped examinees entered the “Hall” with folded hands and prayer on their lips. They would be alarmed if some others finished in time, or asked for more sheets to fill in. They had their own stock of ink, pens and pencils. They would always leave margins on the answer-sheets and attempt questions with clinical precision.
Then there were the ones who popped anti-sleep pills, kept waiting for the desired effect, and slept over the whole night, to wake up all blank. Very few had what is called examination fever. In high school and college, the invigilators were known for being either “Khadoos” or “Biba” (inconsiderate or gentle).
I recall with nostalgia a test which was given to me in the 2nd or 3rd standard by a female teacher who, I thought at that time, was in love with me. She stood at my back to have a peek at how I was solving a sum. I made a wrong answer subtracting, while she very gently spanked my head. I promptly made it a “plus” and looked up at the “Miss”. Her smile is with me till date. “Mera Naam Joker” was made later on.
Recalling our exam days to my son the other day, I was shocked and surprised at what he told me in return. Four of his friends decided neither to prepare for exams nor know the syllabus, nor even revise, but write the exam straightaway. Lo and behold, they got through with fair scoring! On second thoughts then, I must say, that only filling sheets have been replaced with online tests and OMRs (optical mark readers). Otherwise, the examinees remain the same, whatever times they live in — stressed and de-stressed.
ALSO FIND AT: http://rajbirdeswal.instablogs.com/entry/teacher-in-love-helped-me-in-exams/

Book on Humour Released:शमीम शर्मा की "चौपाल पै ताऊ"

Raman Mohan's Report

Book on humour released

Tribune News Service
Hisar, February 23

Rajbir Deswal, noted writer and DIG (CID), Haryana, has said humour and laughter are vanishing commodities in modern society and Haryana is no exception to it.
Releasing a book on Haryanavi humour entitled, “Chaupal Pe Tau”, a collection of Haryanavi jokes, he said humour originated from everyday life of common man and one needed to keep eyes and ears open to appreciate the endless nuances of humour, laughter and fun in daily life which otherwise might look mundane.
Deswal said thanks to recent efforts by authors like Shamim Sharma, Haryanavi humour was finally getting the recognition it deserved. He called for greater efforts to popularise Haryanavi humour, especially humour in the villages, which he described as subtle and effortless.
He, however, cautioned that at times obscenity and outright vulgarity were being passed off as humour which was despicable. He said humour and laughter were never dependant on vulgarity and all efforts should be made to discourage such writings.
The book has been authored by Shamim Sharma and this is her third collection of Haryanavi jokes. Earlier, she had brought out “Chaupal Ke Makhaul” and “Chaupal Ke Chale”, which received rave reviews.
RS Jaglan, registrar, Guru Jambheshwar University of Science and Technology, said humour and laughter had fallen victim to the modern life so much so that people were setting up laughter clubs to laugh for the heck of it. He said laughter must come from within.
Author Shamim Sharma said the average Haryanavi had a great sense of humour and the dialect made the state's humour spicier.
She said the sense of humour was equally sharp among male and female Haryanavis with women contributing greatly to the endless number of jokes circulating in the rural society of Haryana.
She said humour was something that originated from within an individual and good humour was a celebration of life itself.
Sharma said books were losing ground to certain newer media, but despite this onslaught, books had somehow retained their special flavour. This, she said, was especially true of humorous writing.
Deputy Commissioner OP Sheoran said humour and laughter were the best remedy for the tensions of modern day life. He said parents and teachers should play a greater role in teaching children to appreciate humour and its benefits on their psychology.

Click the title to see The Tribune

LIP SERVICE मुस्कुरा लाडले मुस्कुरा

Says Rajbir Deswal, DIG (CID), Haryana, who was involved with a project in Ambala district sometime back, "The Oscar comes as a much-needed boost to this cause as it will help in bringing in more awareness as well as aid.
"In Ambala, as part the sensitization of thanedars at the district level, we had asked the cops to identify children with these disorders so that they could be treated under the Smile Train-funded project. An ordinary surgery to correct a cleft lip can cost anything up to Rs 50,000. So, this project is a boon to children from the lower strata."Chetna K Banerjee's report
click the link above to see The Tribune