Exam blues,clues and flues इम्तिहान उफ़ तौबा !

EXAMS BLUES,CLUES AND FLUES !
BY: RAJBIR DESWAL
April may have been the “cruellest month” for T. S. Eliot, for it prompted “mixing memory and desire”; but March seems to deserve that description in respect of students, who have to write exams missing the colourful fun of Holi. Memorise and revise. Desire, but don’t deserve fun.
Even now when I have successfully written all my educational and professional examinations, I cannot understand why I still occasionally have nightmares of not being able to reach my exam venue in time. I always dream, “Hell barring my way!”
If I make it on time in a certain dream sequence, then invariably I am unable to attempt all the questions. Ink spills on paper or pen goes dry. Things keep going wrong. The reason perhaps lies embedded in my psychological make-up at the subconscious level. So, may be, this is the case with all examinees who stand to various tests in life.
Empathising with the hard-pressed examinees of today, I recall the times when we took tests in a comparatively relaxed manner. My friend Bheema, a wrestler, during my pre-university course studied what we called “26 hours a day”. He believed that desi ghee could make him win a bout, as also “enlighten” his mind to write exams. He, however, failed and attributed his flunking to “impurities” in the desi ghee he consumed.
We had in our hostel boys who spent more time on preparing “chits” for copying. These were “compressed chips” - small in size but enough for storage. The chits being deposited at the appropriate places on their person used to be the copycats’ delight. And being caught with this “explosive material” - as the invigilators called them, would invite devising newer ways of concealing.
Then we had groups of “crazy” guys who would be united in purpose of not appearing in the exams for all the silly reasons. Their aim was “not to pass out of the hostel”; classes they seldom attended. They would have their heads shaven to demonstrate their solidarity. Admitting honestly, they were there to redeem us of our scoring less, thus saving face.
The stereotyped examinees entered the “Hall” with folded hands and prayer on their lips. They would be alarmed if some others finished in time, or asked for more sheets to fill in. They had their own stock of ink, pens and pencils. They would always leave margins on the answer-sheets and attempt questions with clinical precision.
Then there were the ones who popped anti-sleep pills, kept waiting for the desired effect, and slept over the whole night, to wake up all blank. Very few had what is called examination fever. In high school and college, the invigilators were known for being either “Khadoos” or “Biba” (inconsiderate or gentle).
I recall with nostalgia a test which was given to me in the 2nd or 3rd standard by a female teacher who, I thought at that time, was in love with me. She stood at my back to have a peek at how I was solving a sum. I made a wrong answer subtracting, while she very gently spanked my head. I promptly made it a “plus” and looked up at the “Miss”. Her smile is with me till date. “Mera Naam Joker” was made later on.
Recalling our exam days to my son the other day, I was shocked and surprised at what he told me in return. Four of his friends decided neither to prepare for exams nor know the syllabus, nor even revise, but write the exam straightaway. Lo and behold, they got through with fair scoring! On second thoughts then, I must say, that only filling sheets have been replaced with online tests and OMRs (optical mark readers). Otherwise, the examinees remain the same, whatever times they live in — stressed and de-stressed.
ALSO FIND AT: http://rajbirdeswal.instablogs.com/entry/teacher-in-love-helped-me-in-exams/