Mr Pesky’s elegy on SMS!By: Rajbir Deswal
If you have tears, prepare to shed them
now!” Thus spake Mr Pesky, mourning the death of the ubiquitous SMS. “Now he
lies here...dead and gone! When comes such another! O Service Providers, if I
were disposed to stir your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage, I should do TRAI
wrong, and DoT wrong!” Lamented Mr Pesky and continued grieving.
“Of the slain SMS, they call him names in frilled alliteration, woven in
expressions like pestering, pestiferous, plaguey, and, to suit their taste, more
offending ones like teasing, annoying, bothersome, galling, irritating,
nettlesome and what not!”
“History should repent also for its undoing. What people think comes gratis,
or as a freebie, has its own value too. The innocuous SMS may be dispensable for
some, but for others it may have been the mainstay. The announcement that you
will not be having these SMSes by simply texting a DND — Do not disturb — may be
some friends’ loss too, who would recall later with nostalgic pinch felt within
— O’ for a pesky one!”
“My uncle Frisky once told me that in Chandni Chowk, when they introduced
telephone connections for the first time, it came with buy-one-get-one-free
offer. Look at them now. The same people orchestrated the killing of a ‘service’
that charged almost nothing from anyone. O’ temopra! O’ mores!”
“So what if we have over 130 million mobile subscribers carped with the
National Do Not Call Registry till as late as August 25, there are others
(670-million strong!) who may be retired persons, or not too engaged in their
daily chores, or the indulgent ones who look up to the dreamy world of real
estate, banks, multinational companies, business houses, new launches, etc, to
pass their time in a fruitful activity.”
“What was the harm in being updated in the chosen field, even if it was from
soccer or cricket? Do you not stop the Shatabdi Express by pulling the chain to
know the score if it’s not available by other means? SMSs had a cure for this.
“What was the harm if someone called you up to assist you in getting faster,
and easy (in instalments) loan? What was the harm if looking for a flat, some
brokers sent you information desired by you? What was the harm if Liliput or
Koutons had announced a further reduction for you to visit their nearest
showrooms? What was the harm if friendship and social networking people
approached you for a handshake, if not more? All this baffles me a lot.”
“The services being what they are at the governmental and bureaucratic
levels, was it a sin if you received some really informative SMSes and acted
accordingly. Think of the millions of the mobile users, who are suffering from
ignorance about what is the latest? What is up market? What are the add-ons?
What are the offers? I feel sad though I will have to not only lie, but also
feel low!”
“What a fall my countrymen? Does the highway rattling not disturb your sleep?
Are you not shaken out of your slumber at the fast approaching and
alarm-sounding trains with a high decible—Paaaaaaaaannnnnn! Do the Pujari ji,
Bhai ji, Mulla ji not wake you up with their early morning clamours on public
address systems? Do the Mata-Jagran activists let your kids prepare well for
CET, CAT, MAT, etc? And now a soft buzz has let you all down! And you buried the
poor SMS!”
“O judgment! thou art fled to archived apparitions. And mobile users have
lost their SMSes!”
If you have tears, prepare to shed them
now!” Thus spake Mr Pesky, mourning the death of the ubiquitous SMS. “Now he
lies here...dead and gone! When comes such another! O Service Providers, if I
were disposed to stir your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage, I should do TRAI
wrong, and DoT wrong!” Lamented Mr Pesky and continued grieving.
“Of the slain SMS, they call him names in frilled alliteration, woven in
expressions like pestering, pestiferous, plaguey, and, to suit their taste, more
offending ones like teasing, annoying, bothersome, galling, irritating,
nettlesome and what not!”
“History should repent also for its undoing. What people think comes gratis,
or as a freebie, has its own value too. The innocuous SMS may be dispensable for
some, but for others it may have been the mainstay. The announcement that you
will not be having these SMSes by simply texting a DND — Do not disturb — may be
some friends’ loss too, who would recall later with nostalgic pinch felt within
— O’ for a pesky one!”
“My uncle Frisky once told me that in Chandni Chowk, when they introduced
telephone connections for the first time, it came with buy-one-get-one-free
offer. Look at them now. The same people orchestrated the killing of a ‘service’
that charged almost nothing from anyone. O’ temopra! O’ mores!”
“So what if we have over 130 million mobile subscribers carped with the
National Do Not Call Registry till as late as August 25, there are others
(670-million strong!) who may be retired persons, or not too engaged in their
daily chores, or the indulgent ones who look up to the dreamy world of real
estate, banks, multinational companies, business houses, new launches, etc, to
pass their time in a fruitful activity.”
“What was the harm in being updated in the chosen field, even if it was from
soccer or cricket? Do you not stop the Shatabdi Express by pulling the chain to
know the score if it’s not available by other means? SMSs had a cure for this.
“What was the harm if someone called you up to assist you in getting faster,
and easy (in instalments) loan? What was the harm if looking for a flat, some
brokers sent you information desired by you? What was the harm if Liliput or
Koutons had announced a further reduction for you to visit their nearest
showrooms? What was the harm if friendship and social networking people
approached you for a handshake, if not more? All this baffles me a lot.”
“The services being what they are at the governmental and bureaucratic
levels, was it a sin if you received some really informative SMSes and acted
accordingly. Think of the millions of the mobile users, who are suffering from
ignorance about what is the latest? What is up market? What are the add-ons?
What are the offers? I feel sad though I will have to not only lie, but also
feel low!”
“What a fall my countrymen? Does the highway rattling not disturb your sleep?
Are you not shaken out of your slumber at the fast approaching and
alarm-sounding trains with a high decible—Paaaaaaaaannnnnn! Do the Pujari ji,
Bhai ji, Mulla ji not wake you up with their early morning clamours on public
address systems? Do the Mata-Jagran activists let your kids prepare well for
CET, CAT, MAT, etc? And now a soft buzz has let you all down! And you buried the
poor SMS!”
“O judgment! thou art fled to archived apparitions. And mobile users have
lost their SMSes!”
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