Razai tax
by Rajbir Deswal
Who is not aware of the comfort and cosiness of a quilt popularly called Razai — a natural temptation and second skin for us all during winters. Size, smell, stink, shape, stuffing, softness, snugness, sensuousness and snooze is all that a Razai is.
Curled up like a baby in the folds of my velvety Razai, with the mercury dipping to 8 degrees, I was watching a programme on TV which dwelt on funny and silly laws. The anchor informed that in South Korea, it is a law that the cops shall inform the government on bribes given by motorists.
My heart almost missed a beat. No, not at the predicament of the cops, if such legislation was promulgated here, but at the thought of they levying taxes on use of Razais in India! I wrapped myself up a little tighter and began to weigh the pros and cons of the ‘draconian Razai Tax’!
I visualised the Razai Tax raid on my house when the sleuths counted the “contraband” with us. “You are four of you in this house. How come you can afford to have a dozen Razais with you when the law permits one for each member?” R.T. Officer thundered while I sheepishly explained, “Sir, the extra ones are meant for the guests!”
“Ignorance of law is no excuse mister, aren’t you aware that the new law envisages guests carrying their allotted Razais only with them?” an unconvinced R.T.Officer howled. “Couples and the ‘like-minded’ should go for a Razai-pool. India doesn’t progress for the likes of you. None enjoys a Razai-luxury in the cold countries. Hence they are developed. You are the drones in the system —Razai-bugs! No work culture in India exists only because everyone, big or small, rich or poor, young or old, healthy or sick here is found slipping in the Razais at the first opportunity coming their way!”
Well, the Razai Tax could be levied prescribing various categories. The fibre and “shah-toosh” ones, besides the Jaipuris and those with velvet and satin covers, could be more heavily taxed than coarse cloth types. The size of a Razai could also be prescribed. The freshly cotton-ginned could have a moderate levy.
I pondered on the Razai Tax Department being always lapped up by governments as the “most revenue generating one”. Officers would opt for plum postings here while the civil services aspirants would opt for RTD as their first choice. The department’s mission statement could be “Quit-Quilt for India’s Development” and its official business could be transacted only in the sun.
There could also be a Razai-Smelling Cell in the RTD to assess “appropriate use” of Razais. The cell’s recommendations on “smell forensics” could determine the quality control of Razai manufacturing industry.
Suddenly I felt my Razai being taken off by wife at 9 that day, who said, “The only way to make people like you do some productive work is to levy a tax on Razais”. And I said, “Just half an hour more darling, please!”
A couplet to conclude:
Khuda kare ke tumko judai na mileKabhi bhi aisee tanhai na mileMujhe na chaho to kuchh aisa hoMausam ho sardi ka aur tumko razai na mile!
Who is not aware of the comfort and cosiness of a quilt popularly called Razai — a natural temptation and second skin for us all during winters. Size, smell, stink, shape, stuffing, softness, snugness, sensuousness and snooze is all that a Razai is.
Curled up like a baby in the folds of my velvety Razai, with the mercury dipping to 8 degrees, I was watching a programme on TV which dwelt on funny and silly laws. The anchor informed that in South Korea, it is a law that the cops shall inform the government on bribes given by motorists.
My heart almost missed a beat. No, not at the predicament of the cops, if such legislation was promulgated here, but at the thought of they levying taxes on use of Razais in India! I wrapped myself up a little tighter and began to weigh the pros and cons of the ‘draconian Razai Tax’!
I visualised the Razai Tax raid on my house when the sleuths counted the “contraband” with us. “You are four of you in this house. How come you can afford to have a dozen Razais with you when the law permits one for each member?” R.T. Officer thundered while I sheepishly explained, “Sir, the extra ones are meant for the guests!”
“Ignorance of law is no excuse mister, aren’t you aware that the new law envisages guests carrying their allotted Razais only with them?” an unconvinced R.T.Officer howled. “Couples and the ‘like-minded’ should go for a Razai-pool. India doesn’t progress for the likes of you. None enjoys a Razai-luxury in the cold countries. Hence they are developed. You are the drones in the system —Razai-bugs! No work culture in India exists only because everyone, big or small, rich or poor, young or old, healthy or sick here is found slipping in the Razais at the first opportunity coming their way!”
Well, the Razai Tax could be levied prescribing various categories. The fibre and “shah-toosh” ones, besides the Jaipuris and those with velvet and satin covers, could be more heavily taxed than coarse cloth types. The size of a Razai could also be prescribed. The freshly cotton-ginned could have a moderate levy.
I pondered on the Razai Tax Department being always lapped up by governments as the “most revenue generating one”. Officers would opt for plum postings here while the civil services aspirants would opt for RTD as their first choice. The department’s mission statement could be “Quit-Quilt for India’s Development” and its official business could be transacted only in the sun.
There could also be a Razai-Smelling Cell in the RTD to assess “appropriate use” of Razais. The cell’s recommendations on “smell forensics” could determine the quality control of Razai manufacturing industry.
Suddenly I felt my Razai being taken off by wife at 9 that day, who said, “The only way to make people like you do some productive work is to levy a tax on Razais”. And I said, “Just half an hour more darling, please!”
A couplet to conclude:
Khuda kare ke tumko judai na mileKabhi bhi aisee tanhai na mileMujhe na chaho to kuchh aisa hoMausam ho sardi ka aur tumko razai na mile!
1 comment:
Good one sir but what do you think there could be tax on gadela(गदेला) also because without that a razai is not complete.
Post a Comment